Narcissistic Love

Have you ever dated a suspected narcissist? I have. 💩 sucks. Back in 2015 I had the worst break up of my life. Like PTSD inducing trauma kind of break up. I am not ready to talk about it to the blogging world, but years and years down the road it is a trauma thatContinue reading “Narcissistic Love”

Motor Control

Why can’t I hold on to stuff? Physically and mentally? I think the other day I was talking to a coworker and grabbed something, only to drop it. I put it back, grabbed for it again, and knocked it over. It was a weird moment, honestly, but it got me to notice patterns where IContinue reading “Motor Control”

Mania

In short, for myself, I am a hard act to follow. ― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness She’s still there. As the abilify builds up in my system, she has appeared. The other night I stayed up until 2 a.m. even though I was tired. I could not get herContinue reading “Mania”

Day 10

To a mind that is still, a whole universe surrenders. Lao Tzu Ten days that I have been on my medication now, and those ten days have been interesting. Once I got past the initial shock of having a clear head and sprinkled in some life experience, I have started to notice a few things…Continue reading “Day 10”

Impulse Impulse Impulse

Uh Oh 😬 What is the worst thing you bought on impulse? For me it was a king size bed, dresser, and night stand 😂 my ex husband said no to one so once I left, I got one 😬 but mannnnnnn….. This stuff is heavy af 😩 I have had to move it soContinue reading “Impulse Impulse Impulse”

A Bipolar Pregnancy

My pregnancy was fairly easy to be honest. I was undiagnosed, but physically my child was healthy. I think I threw up once because I brushed my teeth wrong but that was it. I was blessed to have an easy time, even if the aftermath wasn’t the best time. I had an emergency c-section becauseContinue reading “A Bipolar Pregnancy”

A Foundation To Stand On

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. David Brinkley I remember sitting on the couch in a little apartment in Texas, debating on what to do. I had ran out of my antidepressant weeks ago but I thought the longer I went detoxingContinue reading “A Foundation To Stand On”

Mental Illness and Memory Loss

“Yeah I’ll have to talk to my psychiatrist about that and uhhhh…there was something else.” I explained to my friend on the phone. After a long pause my brain grasped the words I needed. “Oh yeah! Memory loss!” I giggled, trying to make light of a real problem I have faced for many years. MemoryContinue reading “Mental Illness and Memory Loss”

Postpartum Depression

It was getting close to midnight when the doctor showed up and brought with her a scary word: emergency c-section. Baby wasn’t coming out on their own and was stressed. I had been in labor for about 26 hours at this point so even though the words scared me, really I just wanted the babyContinue reading “Postpartum Depression”

If You Were Healthy

What would you do? Would you exercise? Go on an adventure? Finish your homework? Organize your self made chaos? Oh sorry…those were my thoughts. I have big goals that I’ve always held myself back from. If I was completely healthy I have a list of things to do. Now that I am on medication andContinue reading “If You Were Healthy”