PTSD Inducing Part 2

“Hey, is this you?” My heart raced. They found the pictures and saw me, exposed to the world because one boy decided to exploit me when I broke it off. Please read my post PTSD Inducing (link) to better understand this blog post. Trigger warning, and long post. Let’s call this kid “Fuckhead”. Fuckhead wasContinue reading “PTSD Inducing Part 2”

What’s To Blame

The bipolar mind is fascinating. It literally is two: one good and one bad. Comedy and tragedy. Crazy how I got a comedy and tragedy tattoo in my twenties but found out I was bipolar at 30. Anyways I read this article today, https://pronghornpsych.com/how-does-bipolar-disorder-affect-the-brain/ The interesting takeaway I caught was that less grey matter thanContinue reading “What’s To Blame”

Up In Cheyenne Mountain

I need to hike soon. If you haven’t, and you are able, I highly recommend. It’s a nice reminder that your problems are small and suddenly you aren’t so upset anymore. Up in Cheyenne Mountain I have hiked a lot. My birthday hike, my sunrise hike, and my sunset hike. The city below sparkles withContinue reading “Up In Cheyenne Mountain”

Misunderstood Mom

It was a long night. My son could not sleep, which meant I didn’t sleep, and the morning came a little too quickly for me. It’s not that much of a bother, it’s what I’m here for as a mother, but my mind spun with anger at others from my past this morning. Why amContinue reading “Misunderstood Mom”

I Am Enough

Bipolar Relationships And if love keeps giving me lemons, I just mix them in my drink…” Bluebird by Miranda Lambart Are you bipolar and find relationships difficult? Growing up I thought that it was mainly me messing up…and now I’m realizing that it was both of us. I don’t know how to make anything lastContinue reading “I Am Enough”

College Is Not For Me

I wish there was a relief for students with mental health. Like prove that you are diagnosed and show the school and bam all of the failures are knocked off your GPA. You know what they say about wishes…wish in one hand and 💩 in the other see which one fills up faster. I haveContinue reading “College Is Not For Me”

PTSD Inducing

This is a trauma post so…trigger warning. Guns, domestic violence, and narcissism… My understanding of PTSD was a slow process. I always thought it was an extreme, like can’t-go-out-in-public type of disability. Nightmares of trauma are common, so it’s what we hear about the most as a symptom, but I did not have very manyContinue reading “PTSD Inducing”

What’s Real? What Is Me?

Every mood has me questioning myself these days since the diagnoses. Is this emotion an overreaction? Is it justified? Is this my mental illness or is this me? I have seen posts on bipolar groups of others questioning the same thing. It’s nice that someone can relate but there isn’t a real “fix” to thisContinue reading “What’s Real? What Is Me?”

Absolutely Inappropriate

I say the darndest things… Like: “Hey loser, you done sticking your finger up your butt and ready to work?”I blamed the military for my potty mouth. A supervisor once told me “you are ugly when you curse” and I understood what he meant. I didn’t care, but I understood. Becoming a parent changed meContinue reading “Absolutely Inappropriate”

A Stigma Worth Fighting

“He started breathing heavy like he was going to make himself hyperventilate.” I listened to my friend explain a difficult coworker and how they have bad anxiety. All I could think about was the time I hyperventilated while I was in the service, and how they probably talked about me the same way my friendContinue reading “A Stigma Worth Fighting”