&Found

I feel good today, like I have figured out some crucial details of my life. Instead of getting a second job and figuring out care for my kiddo, I decided to try the RV Lifestyle. I’ll be able to save money for land one day and then build my dream home. That’s the goal atContinue reading “&Found”

Lost

The way life ebbs and flows with the tide of time is amazing. One minute you are doing good and the next you aren’t. My medication is starting to help me balance my moods but life still happens, so navigating while medicated has been a learning experience. I still feel, and go through emotions. It’sContinue reading “Lost”

Up ⬆️ Then Down ⬇️

Things that are hard to do with mental illnesses: Shower Brush your teeth Get out of bed Stick to plans Eat healthy Clean up Do I need to list more? It’s hard to do day to day tasks with mental illness. People have told me to just do it. Just do it. Duh. But thenContinue reading “Up ⬆️ Then Down ⬇️”

Momma Tries

Dear Child, I want you to know that my mood swings was never your fault, it was all on me. I know I apologize every time but if you are anything like me when I was growing up, it will still affect you. I am learning just as you are, and every day is anContinue reading “Momma Tries”

I Just Need Time

Time to figure out my own bullshit. Time to pick the pieces up. Time to gather myself, Time to clean this mess. And time to become the me I am meant to be.

Surface Pressure

It’s been a weird time for me lately. I keep trying to “feel better” without much luck. One day I will give up a bad habit, and the next I am right back to it (like smoking cigarettes). My motivation levels are low, I avoid what brings joy to my life, and I cannot seemContinue reading “Surface Pressure”

Psychomotor Activity In Mood Disorders

Your handwriting. the way you walk. which china pattern you choose. it’s all giving you away. everything you do shows your hand. everything is a self portrait. everything is a diary. Chuck Palahniuk, Diary Ask a veteran how boot camp was and you will hear “It was the funnest time I never want to haveContinue reading “Psychomotor Activity In Mood Disorders”

PTSD Inducing Part 2

“Hey, is this you?” My heart raced. They found the pictures and saw me, exposed to the world because one boy decided to exploit me when I broke it off. Please read my post PTSD Inducing (link) to better understand this blog post. Trigger warning, and long post. Let’s call this kid “Fuckhead”. Fuckhead wasContinue reading “PTSD Inducing Part 2”

What’s To Blame

The bipolar mind is fascinating. It literally is two: one good and one bad. Comedy and tragedy. Crazy how I got a comedy and tragedy tattoo in my twenties but found out I was bipolar at 30. Anyways I read this article today, https://pronghornpsych.com/how-does-bipolar-disorder-affect-the-brain/ The interesting takeaway I caught was that less grey matter thanContinue reading “What’s To Blame”

Up In Cheyenne Mountain

I need to hike soon. If you haven’t, and you are able, I highly recommend. It’s a nice reminder that your problems are small and suddenly you aren’t so upset anymore. Up in Cheyenne Mountain I have hiked a lot. My birthday hike, my sunrise hike, and my sunset hike. The city below sparkles withContinue reading “Up In Cheyenne Mountain”