&Found

I feel good today, like I have figured out some crucial details of my life. Instead of getting a second job and figuring out care for my kiddo, I decided to try the RV Lifestyle. I’ll be able to save money for land one day and then build my dream home. That’s the goal atContinue reading “&Found”

Lost

The way life ebbs and flows with the tide of time is amazing. One minute you are doing good and the next you aren’t. My medication is starting to help me balance my moods but life still happens, so navigating while medicated has been a learning experience. I still feel, and go through emotions. It’sContinue reading “Lost”

Timeliness

Life has been a rollercoaster as usual. The scales are never balanced. The foundation is solid…but it is taking time. Time I have no patience for. But I guess that’s an essence of it…time does not care what I have going on, just the one objective it has-to keep going forward. So like time, IContinue reading “Timeliness”

Up ⬆️ Then Down ⬇️

Things that are hard to do with mental illnesses: Shower Brush your teeth Get out of bed Stick to plans Eat healthy Clean up Do I need to list more? It’s hard to do day to day tasks with mental illness. People have told me to just do it. Just do it. Duh. But thenContinue reading “Up ⬆️ Then Down ⬇️”

Momma Tries

Dear Child, I want you to know that my mood swings was never your fault, it was all on me. I know I apologize every time but if you are anything like me when I was growing up, it will still affect you. I am learning just as you are, and every day is anContinue reading “Momma Tries”

I Just Need Time

Time to figure out my own bullshit. Time to pick the pieces up. Time to gather myself, Time to clean this mess. And time to become the me I am meant to be.

30+ Days On Medication

The weather seemed to control my moods today instead of the medication. It was bright and sunny this afternoon, but now it’s snowing and cold. I was having a great day and then I was in my head with the intrusive thoughts. They’re back, I guess. And my head swirled with negative thinking that grewContinue reading “30+ Days On Medication”

Psychomotor Activity In Mood Disorders

Your handwriting. the way you walk. which china pattern you choose. it’s all giving you away. everything you do shows your hand. everything is a self portrait. everything is a diary. Chuck Palahniuk, Diary Ask a veteran how boot camp was and you will hear “It was the funnest time I never want to haveContinue reading “Psychomotor Activity In Mood Disorders”

Mentally Visible

The internet is a frontier of information, but just like a frontier of land- you have to have a starting point. Like your algorithm. So how do we add mental health to people’s algorithm? I could spend money I do not have, so that is a bad idea. So how do I do this forContinue reading “Mentally Visible”

PTSD Inducing Part 2

“Hey, is this you?” My heart raced. They found the pictures and saw me, exposed to the world because one boy decided to exploit me when I broke it off. Please read my post PTSD Inducing (link) to better understand this blog post. Trigger warning, and long post. Let’s call this kid “Fuckhead”. Fuckhead wasContinue reading “PTSD Inducing Part 2”