Lost

The way life ebbs and flows with the tide of time is amazing. One minute you are doing good and the next you aren’t. My medication is starting to help me balance my moods but life still happens, so navigating while medicated has been a learning experience. I still feel, and go through emotions. It’sContinue reading “Lost”

Up ⬆️ Then Down ⬇️

Things that are hard to do with mental illnesses: Shower Brush your teeth Get out of bed Stick to plans Eat healthy Clean up Do I need to list more? It’s hard to do day to day tasks with mental illness. People have told me to just do it. Just do it. Duh. But thenContinue reading “Up ⬆️ Then Down ⬇️”

Momma Tries

Dear Child, I want you to know that my mood swings was never your fault, it was all on me. I know I apologize every time but if you are anything like me when I was growing up, it will still affect you. I am learning just as you are, and every day is anContinue reading “Momma Tries”

Psychomotor Activity In Mood Disorders

Your handwriting. the way you walk. which china pattern you choose. it’s all giving you away. everything you do shows your hand. everything is a self portrait. everything is a diary. Chuck Palahniuk, Diary Ask a veteran how boot camp was and you will hear “It was the funnest time I never want to haveContinue reading “Psychomotor Activity In Mood Disorders”

PTSD Inducing Part 2

“Hey, is this you?” My heart raced. They found the pictures and saw me, exposed to the world because one boy decided to exploit me when I broke it off. Please read my post PTSD Inducing (link) to better understand this blog post. Trigger warning, and long post. Let’s call this kid “Fuckhead”. Fuckhead wasContinue reading “PTSD Inducing Part 2”

Up In Cheyenne Mountain

I need to hike soon. If you haven’t, and you are able, I highly recommend. It’s a nice reminder that your problems are small and suddenly you aren’t so upset anymore. Up in Cheyenne Mountain I have hiked a lot. My birthday hike, my sunrise hike, and my sunset hike. The city below sparkles withContinue reading “Up In Cheyenne Mountain”

PTSD Inducing

This is a trauma post so…trigger warning. Guns, domestic violence, and narcissism… My understanding of PTSD was a slow process. I always thought it was an extreme, like can’t-go-out-in-public type of disability. Nightmares of trauma are common, so it’s what we hear about the most as a symptom, but I did not have very manyContinue reading “PTSD Inducing”

Absolutely Inappropriate

I say the darndest things… Like: “Hey loser, you done sticking your finger up your butt and ready to work?”I blamed the military for my potty mouth. A supervisor once told me “you are ugly when you curse” and I understood what he meant. I didn’t care, but I understood. Becoming a parent changed meContinue reading “Absolutely Inappropriate”

A Stigma Worth Fighting

“He started breathing heavy like he was going to make himself hyperventilate.” I listened to my friend explain a difficult coworker and how they have bad anxiety. All I could think about was the time I hyperventilated while I was in the service, and how they probably talked about me the same way my friendContinue reading “A Stigma Worth Fighting”

Motor Control

Why can’t I hold on to stuff? Physically and mentally? I think the other day I was talking to a coworker and grabbed something, only to drop it. I put it back, grabbed for it again, and knocked it over. It was a weird moment, honestly, but it got me to notice patterns where IContinue reading “Motor Control”