Why can’t I hold on to stuff? Physically and mentally? I think the other day I was talking to a coworker and grabbed something, only to drop it. I put it back, grabbed for it again, and knocked it over. It was a weird moment, honestly, but it got me to notice patterns where IContinue reading “Motor Control”
Category Archives: Patterns
Impulse Impulse Impulse
Uh Oh 😬 What is the worst thing you bought on impulse? For me it was a king size bed, dresser, and night stand 😂 my ex husband said no to one so once I left, I got one 😬 but mannnnnnn….. This stuff is heavy af 😩 I have had to move it soContinue reading “Impulse Impulse Impulse”
A Bipolar Pregnancy
My pregnancy was fairly easy to be honest. I was undiagnosed, but physically my child was healthy. I think I threw up once because I brushed my teeth wrong but that was it. I was blessed to have an easy time, even if the aftermath wasn’t the best time. I had an emergency c-section becauseContinue reading “A Bipolar Pregnancy”
Mental Illness and Memory Loss
“Yeah I’ll have to talk to my psychiatrist about that and uhhhh…there was something else.” I explained to my friend on the phone. After a long pause my brain grasped the words I needed. “Oh yeah! Memory loss!” I giggled, trying to make light of a real problem I have faced for many years. MemoryContinue reading “Mental Illness and Memory Loss”
Postpartum Depression
It was getting close to midnight when the doctor showed up and brought with her a scary word: emergency c-section. Baby wasn’t coming out on their own and was stressed. I had been in labor for about 26 hours at this point so even though the words scared me, really I just wanted the babyContinue reading “Postpartum Depression”
OCD and Me
Did I lock the door? I need to checkIs that a new pimple? I need to get every pimple on my face offI know I just washed this shirt, but I don’t know how long it’s been on this dirty floor. Just going to wash it again. This might be a weird statement but…I loveContinue reading “OCD and Me”
Weight of The World
The other day I was up, and yesterday I could feel myself spiral down. It was a weird feeling to notice it now that I am getting increasingly better at identifying the shifts. The more I learn, the more I am recognizing signals and triggers. It’s kind of scary, kind of intriguing, but overall it’sContinue reading “Weight of The World”
If I Had Known Then…
…what I know now…That little girl would not have been put into the situations she was, or made the choices she did. A common indication of Bipolar one and Bipolar two is hypersexuality, and now that I am diagnosed, I have been thinking a lot about past choices relating to this that caused even moreContinue reading “If I Had Known Then…”
Intrusive Thought
Sometimes I wonder if Bipolar Disorder is a disconnect between your conscious and your subconscious. Like….there are literally two trains of thought in that dome. One tells me the good, and the other tells me the bad. My brain is a comedy and tragedy mask, both fighting for the spotlight. By good I mean allContinue reading “Intrusive Thought”
The Journey Begins
Last Wednesday was an intense day, and since Christmas was right around the corner- I had other priorities to focus on before I could let it out. I finally saw the psychiatrist! I waited two months for this appointment because the VA is slow with everything, so it was nice to not miss this one.Continue reading “The Journey Begins”
Undiagnosed 