PTSD Inducing

This is a trauma post so…trigger warning. Guns, domestic violence, and narcissism… My understanding of PTSD was a slow process. I always thought it was an extreme, like can’t-go-out-in-public type of disability. Nightmares of trauma are common, so it’s what we hear about the most as a symptom, but I did not have very manyContinue reading “PTSD Inducing”

What’s Real? What Is Me?

Every mood has me questioning myself these days since the diagnoses. Is this emotion an overreaction? Is it justified? Is this my mental illness or is this me? I have seen posts on bipolar groups of others questioning the same thing. It’s nice that someone can relate but there isn’t a real “fix” to thisContinue reading “What’s Real? What Is Me?”

Absolutely Inappropriate

I say the darndest things… Like: “Hey loser, you done sticking your finger up your butt and ready to work?”I blamed the military for my potty mouth. A supervisor once told me “you are ugly when you curse” and I understood what he meant. I didn’t care, but I understood. Becoming a parent changed meContinue reading “Absolutely Inappropriate”

A Stigma Worth Fighting

“He started breathing heavy like he was going to make himself hyperventilate.” I listened to my friend explain a difficult coworker and how they have bad anxiety. All I could think about was the time I hyperventilated while I was in the service, and how they probably talked about me the same way my friendContinue reading “A Stigma Worth Fighting”

Day 10

To a mind that is still, a whole universe surrenders. Lao Tzu Ten days that I have been on my medication now, and those ten days have been interesting. Once I got past the initial shock of having a clear head and sprinkled in some life experience, I have started to notice a few things…Continue reading “Day 10”

Impulse Impulse Impulse

Uh Oh 😬 What is the worst thing you bought on impulse? For me it was a king size bed, dresser, and night stand 😂 my ex husband said no to one so once I left, I got one 😬 but mannnnnnn….. This stuff is heavy af 😩 I have had to move it soContinue reading “Impulse Impulse Impulse”

A Bipolar Pregnancy

My pregnancy was fairly easy to be honest. I was undiagnosed, but physically my child was healthy. I think I threw up once because I brushed my teeth wrong but that was it. I was blessed to have an easy time, even if the aftermath wasn’t the best time. I had an emergency c-section becauseContinue reading “A Bipolar Pregnancy”

Mental Illness and Memory Loss

“Yeah I’ll have to talk to my psychiatrist about that and uhhhh…there was something else.” I explained to my friend on the phone. After a long pause my brain grasped the words I needed. “Oh yeah! Memory loss!” I giggled, trying to make light of a real problem I have faced for many years. MemoryContinue reading “Mental Illness and Memory Loss”

If You Were Healthy

What would you do? Would you exercise? Go on an adventure? Finish your homework? Organize your self made chaos? Oh sorry…those were my thoughts. I have big goals that I’ve always held myself back from. If I was completely healthy I have a list of things to do. Now that I am on medication andContinue reading “If You Were Healthy”

OCD and Me

Did I lock the door? I need to checkIs that a new pimple? I need to get every pimple on my face offI know I just washed this shirt, but I don’t know how long it’s been on this dirty floor. Just going to wash it again. This might be a weird statement but…I loveContinue reading “OCD and Me”