First World Anxiety

A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

Oxford Languages

Today was a pretty anxious day since it was an extremely windy one. So windy, in fact, that it tore the siding from my work’s building. I am thankful that it was mainly my building, but being inside of it while hearing everything moving is a little nerve-racking. Management let us go early, and I raced home wondering excessively if a tree was in my home, or a window was broken, or worse yet- something happened to my two dogs.

My body was tense with racing thoughts. Fake scenarios ran rampant across the frontier of my consciousness, and I found it difficult to concentrate on my work while we remained there.

I just wanted to go home.

Once I made it though, the relief I felt washed over my body and I felt like I was free from the world spinning. I just sat in my car and breathed. No doubt there was something to worry about, but to the extent that I felt what I felt? It seemed like an excessive response to a small threat.

Anxiety and Bipolar are commonly together, showing up in several different ways such as PTSD, panic disorders, and social phobias to name a few. It is interesting to see that these two come together to create a tornado of dysfunction, and the end result is a mental, physical, confusing tornado.
For me, the physical response is hard to notice until it is hitting me, but I have had a hard time pinpointing the exact moment. My heart rate increases, the thoughts swirl, and I feel a rising panic in my chest. The only thing to calm the storm is completing the end goal…

Like get home and make sure the wind did not push a tree into your home or glass broke or your dogs somehow escaped. Or the building collapses while you are at work or the babysitters house is damaged with your kid in it or this or that or whatever else I can come up with.

You get the idea.

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