It was a long night.
My son could not sleep, which meant I didn’t sleep, and the morning came a little too quickly for me. It’s not that much of a bother, it’s what I’m here for as a mother, but my mind spun with anger at others from my past this morning.
Why am I judged for being late when I am the one doing this alone? Does no one realize what it means to be a single mom? Why do people assume I come from a negative space and want to be late? Why was I fired for that one time? Am I really alone? Dude I was so frustrated for no reason.
All of it was irrelevant since I got to work on time, but that’s how my head works. I hold on until I am ready to let go. I guess I feel overwhelmed to do it alone, and sad that my choices led to this for myself. I have a wonderful child but damn it’s hard to be a single mom and people do not seem to be willing to see me. I’m trying.
Life in America for single mothers is 99% harsh, and it’s a sad reality. For example, I do not qualify for state help because of what I make yet I am barely keeping my head above water, don’t even ask about my savings. 😩 I am in that salty ass middle ground where I can’t get much help. The land and homes here in this area are so expensive that it makes me feel like my homestead in the mountains is a pipe dream.
I am thankful for what I do have though, please don’t read it as I am not blessed. Even though it sucks at the moment, I know things will get better with time and patience. I guess I just feel alone sometimes and misunderstood. Perhaps the lack of sleep has me flustered.
If you know a single mom, no matter her circumstance, give that woman a bigass hug. She is doing the best she can with what she has. ♥️
Undiagnosed 
You are enough! You are teaching your little one and yourself that adversity is survivable.
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